Going back in Time..!

Hey guys,

Not sure about you, but sometimes i feel like going back in time and change things that had happen. Do you guys feel that way sometimes?..having this feeling that if only i went back in time and done this. I have a lot of this feeling this couple days.

To be honest with u all, i feel devastated when i receive my result. Yet, I should praise God cause I dun think i really deserve those mark. Even a fail is from God. If it wasn’t God, I would be getting 1’s. As you all can guess, i fail a subject and no i am not going emo about it.

I just got a 1 hour lecture from my mother. Stating the very obvious in me, I am wasting a lot of my time doing unproductive stuff. I don’t have the self-initiative to look for a job and have the self-initiative to ask money from my mother. Also, not putting a lot of effort into my studies which i really agree.

After the lecture, I’m having a chat with my sheppard(like now) about it. I really thank God for my shepp, he just told me something that really cuts deep into my heart. I am proud of my gaming addiction..ouch,that really hurt me, im about to cry but i cant…but i really did feel that cut..! As im chatting with him, im thinking about that sentence. It really has taken over me..my friends even starting to worry about me, friends who are not christian and don’t even know God is worry about me. I also remember when I was at PH getaway, Chris was kind of like making me feeling that im proud of my gaming addiction. Not sure if he intended it or not but i dun he intended it. At that point, i realized im so corrupted from my gaming addiction.

So addicted that i rather spend time playing games till early mornings(like 3am) and spent no time for God except going to Church and Life-Group. So addicted till the point, i don’t know the meaning of having fun with friends but instead playing with my friends like i am playing for Australia for the World Cybergames (world cup for gaming). So addicted till the point, i don’t even know this world i live in. It seems like I am living in the virtual world.

i think thats all i can write at the moment….!! not that i got lots to say, is just that i really have nothing to say anymore…!…i can’t continue writing this entry in the state i am in.

So till next time
See ya

Is been ages.

Wow,man my blog looks like is dead…!!
Well,time to update it..!!
Let me think,what can i share…ah..let me share about my exam…!!

As you all know about me giving away my mouse and games…!! I did it so i can learn to control myself and also able to focus to do my studies a lot better…!! Seriously, i had my ups and downs…I mean i follow the rules sometimes,not plying games and study instead and sometimes i play games despite i know that i really need to study…!!

So yea,when it comes to my exam, i did my best and im actually surprise i did quite well..!! I mean i wont get a 5 but i reckon i can pass my exams, i reckon i would have fail if i didnt give my games and mouse away and also i really think that God was with me in all my exam,keeping me calm which is awesome…Praise God!!

I also really thank God for my life-group that prays for me..I mean i really love my lg..sending me messages at like 1am in the morning where i have exams the next day(Thanks sop..haha) but you know what, i really appreciate those messages.

Well,thats all i can share about..!
till next post

Rashaun

Update….!!

Hey readers,

I haven’t been updating my blog for ages because i have been going through a lot of stuff…!!
Also, I might have posted stuff that might be a little be harsh and stuff and i certainly do want to apologise for it. I guess I am fine right now.

Surviving through Uni,juggling with my time for church and studies and gaming. Oh yes, I haven’t tell you guys. I am a gamer. I love to play games,I more to PC games. I love playing Starcraft. So i play games almost everyday and i dun study and spent time with God.

I want to confess something and I want you all to know, yes I am addicted to gaming. I have been gaming for more than 5 years at least.

Want to share something with you all. I failed one paper last uni term. I wasn’t really happy about it. I know in my heart what was the fault for it. I know is my gaming addiction that has cause me to fail my subject. Also, my gaming addiction has cause me to go away from God. To tell you guys the truth, I have been far away from God to the point where i almost deciding to walk away from God. But you know what, I really thank God for my life-group and my shepard. If it wasn’t of them, I think I would have walk away from God. They sent me encouragement message and they visited me and praying for me and i really thank God for them. So if you guys are not part of a small group,encourage you guys to join..!

For the last term of my first year uni, i have decided to give up gaming to the end of semester by giving my mouse and games to my shepard. Man,it is difficult. So far, it has bee 24 hours since i last play a game and I am going crazy. But you know what, i think it is worthy, I manage to finish like 4 assessment items in one day and i praise God for that. I know it will be difficult but with God,I can overcome it. Also, I really want to spent more time to get to know God more now with the mouse and game gone. So please pray for me that I will be able to find more time for God now.

Something from my heart.
During this dry season, I have always look through a bible verse that really struck my heart and is one of my favourite bible verse. Is in Joshua 1:5, it talks about how God is with you and He will never leave you nor forsake you. I think this verse really struck me at this season because, God still loves me and cares for me even I have been away from Him. The reason why i can say that is because I really believe that God showed me His care and concern through my life-group and my shepard. In my heart, I know God is still with me,knocking on my door to come back to Him and I think thats why i decided not to walk away from God. I really thank God for that.

Oh well, I know is a very long update. But i do hope you got something out of it.
God Bless,
Rashaun

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Serious Answer..!!

This is for whoever that knows me in real life and reads my blog..!!

I got a serious answer that I want from whoever that reads this…!

Am i annoying or do i always cause trouble to you??…just say yes or no..!!

If u want to add more to it y is that..feel free to say it…!!
Seriously just be honest..thats all i ask for!!…im not going to kill you or anything..!!

Thanks

Rashaun

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Run(Piano Version)

Hey guys,

found a song call Run by Hillsong but Piano Version.Sounds hot.

Hope you enjoy it
Rashaun

My Faith Story

Hey guys,

Todays entry is special, well to me. Cos i am going to share my faith story. Some of you all might think “what is he talking about?” but a faith story is a story of someone coming to know Jesus. The reason why I want to let you all know is because Jesus loves you. I also just learn the meaning of faith Story in Ablaze.

So this is my faith story:

At a very young age, my family faced some challenges that led to my parents divorce. And due to this, I never got to see my father a lot. Throughout childhood, I would miss my dad and feel quite sad that I couldn’t see him as often as I wanted. This sadness turned into frustration and eventually into anger. The problem that I had once seen in my family had eventually become the struggle I would have to battle with everyday. Not only that, my mother is always not home due to work and i dont get to see her often.

Everyday my mother would canned me because I never finish my homework or being a naughty boy. My mother would even ask my father to come over and continue to canned me. Everyday, I would have scar and blood all over me and i always hold my anger and my hatered in my heart.

When I get to school, people know me as the “Hulk”,”Angry Man” and many more they can think off. The reason for that is because of my anger. The anger that has long kept in my heart has been unleashed towards my friends and sometimes even teachers. Due to my anger, i have decided to be a “ebel”. I still remember i started drinking when I was 12 years old. I started lying to my parents and teacher regarding homeworks and sometimes even results. But things began to change when i met my science teacher at 13 years old.

One day, i was walking to the canteen for lunch and I was a group of friends inside a science lab and also i saw my science teacher. It was funny because he wasnt having detention with my friends. He was telling story and I was like “why would you listen to story in your lunch time?.thats silly”(Was saying it with a lot of bad words). But one thing i notice is that my friends, they seem to accept me for who i am and they werent afraid of me. I find it weird.

However, one day at school, during lunch time, I was walking with my friends. Suddenly, I saw my science teacher in the science lab and he asked me to come and see him. I wasn’t sure as to why he had wanted to speak with me, and never would have known that this moment would hold the transformation of my life. As he had noticed the challenges I had faced, out of care and concern he began helping me. He led me to the story of Jesus Christ being the Son of God, coming down to his earth to die for our sin. He said that in John 3:16 – “For God so love the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
At that point I was amazed that to know that someone actually loved me so much to the extent of sacrificing His life for me. I felt in my heart that this love was a very different kind of love that I have been used to. Compelled by this love, I opened my heart up to God to begin His transformation process in me and invited Him into my life to be Lord. And I never regretted making that decision.

Eversince then, my life is been change. I no longer get very angry easily towards small things. I began to forgive my parents for what they have done. I love my parents more now and also love God even more as I know Him more.

So yea, this is my short story. God is real and everyone might not be able to see Him or able to prove that He exsist physically, but look at me, If God wasnt real, I would still be a rebel like couple years ago. My life would never be the same again because of God. Also, I now look forward to the day when I am able to meet God face to face. The main things is that, God loves all of us no matter who you are, a muderer, a buglar, a theif, a lyer, a drinker, a bully. God still loves you and He is waiting at your doorsteps and waiting for you to allow him to come into your life.

God bless,

Rashaun

Happy Birthday Friend..!!

Hey Guys,
Today,1st August marks a special day for a lovely friend of mine. I met him last year and seriously I am very glad to have him as a friend and able to share life with him. We went to the same life-group together and now we have separated to different group but friendship remains forever.

Glad to have him as a friend and seriously, I have seen him grow so much and he is always faithfull to God and always have the desire to know God.

Have a wonderful birthday Shaun.

Me and Shaun Teng

Rashaun

Moving Out

Hey guys,

Well, as promise that I would share some of my thoughts about moving out from home.

Im in a process in deciding and planning if i want to move out or not.
I know there is some people saying that i should stay and some say i should move

For people who say that i should stay
1.if I stay, i wont have to pay for rent and food and other minor expenses but i will still need to pay for my entertaiment and outside expenses. I mean I can do that with a part time job.
2.I would need to look after my little brother and look after the house because my parents is working and they always come home late. This will therefore reduce my time to do my study and sometimes it does affect my quite time.
3.My parents doesnt give me a lot of privacy. They always walk in to my room whenever they want…yes i noe they own the house but they still cant walk into my room without my permission. I understand that they go in there to close the windows or something but not when they start to touch my stuff. Also, i cant do my quiet time peacefully because they would always disturb me and ask me to do housework.
4.My mother wants to move out. She told me, when i got a job and centerlink help, she would prefer me to move out. I mean come on guys,even my mom wants me to move out. you guys think i should stay but how can i stay peacefully if my mother wants me to leave. P.S. She said that when she is in good mood not when we are arguing.

For people who say move out,
1. Well,it would be very difficult to manage my team especailly with a part time job and also looking after myself more.
2.I can learn to be more respondsible and manage my time properly
3.Money is everything, how am i going to pay for rent and food and still can afford to have time for church,ministry and entertaiment.
4.Who am i going to move out with?..i mean yes, i got two friends who wants me to move out with but can i live with them?..especially when one of them had affected my walk with God before
5.Will i be able to cope with my studies?
6.What happens if i have conflict with roommates?..i mean having conflicts with my parents tends to be resolved quite quickly.

I mean this is all i can really think about?…what do u guys think??…feel free to drop a comment..would like to hear your comments and any advice about this issue cos i really dun want to make the wrong decision.

Till next post..
Rashaun